I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
