I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
