how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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