look no pants
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
