my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
