Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I deserve this hangover.
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