i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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