I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
