I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just tell him i said nine months
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
