I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
