then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
