I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
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Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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