she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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