She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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