I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Randomize
