I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I am naked and annoyed.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
