Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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