Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's shark week go big or go home
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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