Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
