is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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