Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
