i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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