I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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