he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
