Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
