fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
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We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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