She is in my trunk
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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