the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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