she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
