hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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