My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
