Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
