you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
