you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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