My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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