kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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