Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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