YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
