So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
