Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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