chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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