I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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