okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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