Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
