Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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