I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
