Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
