these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
