Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
