My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
