Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
