Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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