just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
