I have demons in me.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
