He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
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You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
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He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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