After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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