just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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