i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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