I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I understand Curling. That high.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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