just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
