Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
