D3 body, D1 cock
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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