fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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