This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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