you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
