Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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