I puked a lego.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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